Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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