census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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