I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
