you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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