I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
