you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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