We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
