just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
