I just cut my nipple shaving
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize