I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
