Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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