Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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