I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
3pm strippers are depressing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
