We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
