her vagine was all disorganized.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
