the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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