Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
