there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
