Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
