Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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