I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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