I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
