Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
