his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
