Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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