I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
