Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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