Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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