they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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