Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize