I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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