i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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