just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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