I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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