Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize