I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The power of my boobs compel you
I need to calm my uterus...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
