you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
