when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
