so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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