I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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