You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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