SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize