just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
