Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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