and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize