I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
