if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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