I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
