i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
