I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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