I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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