quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
