11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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