he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
