You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
