I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
