please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
