We should be called the Road Head Warriors
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
