No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
