Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize