I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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